This is the story of my life broken into pieces. I am sharing this for myself and for anyone else who has lived through a trauma, heart break, instability, insecurity and, hopefully, is finding peace in there world. I am writing this story now as I find myself remembering and struggling to work through some of my past traumas and memories. I am hoping that this may help others find solace and peace with their past so that they may continue to look to the future.
I apologize if these posts jump around. I am willing writing them as different memories and pieces of my life story resurface for me. This is why I am calling this my life in pieces. I will commit to providing an age range for each post/story to allow for continuity in the stories.
I was born into an unstable family situation. I was not planned. I am the definition of a mistake. My parents were done having children after my two older siblings were born. My mother had her tubes tied during my older siblings c section. Almost seven years after my older sister was born my parents discovered they were pregnant with me.
Our family situation became more unstable the year that I was born. Within the first year of my life my mother was on strike from work and my parents were divorced. I was born into instability and change. I do not have a single memory of my birth father. Even though I was born to married parents. I was an infant when my parents divorced and to my knowledge my father did not come back or was not invited back to our house after the divorce. When my parents divorced my father's family seemingly stopped communicating with us. I have only meet a few of paternal family members less than a handful of times in over 40 years. My birth father's family were/are quite religious and were not supportive of my parents divorce. Despite not ever actually knowing anyone from my birth father's family I have been compared in physical appears to them and have been told stories about members of the family, as if I should know who they are, for my entire life. When I was younger I would just agree with everyone and nod in acknowledgment that I understood who they were speaking about. Now, I am honest and tell my mom and eldest sister that I have no idea who they are talking about.
I grew up in a small rural town. Where everyone knew everything about everyone. I am not exaggerating. Gossip was high, secrets were lucrative, and everyones lives were open for discussion. Also, divorces were considered scandal and were highly gossiped about. As my parents were divorced when I was an infant I don't have living memories about the gossip surrounding their divorce. However, I was one of few kids growing up who was part of a split family.
When I was four years old my mother remarried to my step father. This man was the only father I knew. We were one of the only if not the only modern families in our rural small town. I didn't realize this until I was an adult. I was the only kid my in class with step siblings. I think my siblings and I were the only siblings with step siblings that we knew growing up. My step siblings were closer to and the same age as my two older sisters. When my mom and step father were married my siblings and step siblings were teenagers.
